Sunday, December 14, 2014


School days.

I never liked school days.
Supposed to be the best time of one's life.
Ain't mine.

I hated school, I skipped often, only to stay at home,
No one noticed, anyway.
I am just like invisible.
I can't be invisible.
I'm huge.
Always being called 'names'.
Always being ignored.
Talked to, only because I'm pitiful or someone needed something.

It left a scar.
That can never be erased.

Even now, I still feel being ignored.

Just a couple of weeks ago, an ex-classmate asked if I wanted to buy something, which he can get way cheaper at his place. I said yes, feeling very appreciative.
Then weeks passed, he told me that the 'something' has arrived and he will arrange delivery.
I asked for bank account no,., he said, he'll send first, then only I pay.

I thought tide has changed, I am no longer ignored.

I waited, for 3 weeks, I messaged him - he then said - oh, so sorry I forgot to inform you, out of stock.. I said okay la ... believing him.

One fine day, I logged on to whatapps - and few ex-classmates were thanking him for getting that 'something' for them .... it even traveled miles over to another continent. 

I got upset. He lied. Looks like I am still the pitiful little duck.

Today, I exit the ex-school mate Whatapps group.
Every message I post, no one seems to take notice - probably dun even bother to reply.
Why should I stay, might as well exit.
At least I don't get those irritating notifications.

I should feel good.
I hope so.

Friday, August 08, 2014

Friday, May 23, 2014

A Little Break from CellCept (MMF)

Monday, went to the Rheumy, expected to be 'okay' - hey YIKES, nope.
Looks like my liver enzyme is elevated.

Rheumy thinks it could be some sort of stubborn infection, as my WBC is elevated too - taking me off CellCept for 5 days so that my 'immune' can 'fight' ... plus antibiotics to karate-kick whatever bug messing around.

OR, it could be that my liver are over-worked from all the meds (esp. CellCept that I am taking)


Please, please don't mess with my liver. I haven't even settled my kidney issue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good news though, my albumin is up. Hooray!

My easily-bruised leg!!


Thursday, March 20, 2014

The "Candies" Before Bed ...

As you can see, my daily 'candies' as I call them.
These are the night ones I take before bed. Two powerful purple tablets that suppressed the immune system and the little one with 'heart' is for blood pressure.
I am back on CellCept since two months (or so ago..) - My kidney biopsy results showed that I am now Class 4, I've upgraded from the previous Class 3. I am also a Class 5 holder. Class 5? Now, don't be confused,
Class 1-4 (I-IV) and 6 (VI) are related, means, the higher the no., higher severity.
While, Class 5 (V) its by its own, membranous lupus nephritis.

  • Class I
  • Minimal mesangial lupus nephritis
  • Class II
  • Mesangial proliferative lupus nephritis
  • Class III
  • Focal lupus nephritisa
  • Class IV
  • Diffuse segmental (IV-S) or global (IV-G) lupus nephritisb
  • Class V
  • Membranous lupus nephritisc
  • Class VI
  • Advanced sclerosing lupus nephritis

Treatment wise, I am back on CellCept, rather than the usual "Cyclophosphamide" treatment for LN. I consider myself "lucky" to get on to CellCept again - as it is the less prescribed treatment due to the cost involved. Being in public healthcare, I can only pray and hope to get the best or better alternative.
(Cyclophosphamide is a type of chemo drug, while CellCept is an immunosuppressant)
The problem with Cyclophosphamide is that it can cause infertility - permanent, and possible early menopause. Although doctors did explain that the dosage used now is much lower and infertility is more towards the 'male' gender. I was not convinced and ended up getting all emotional (first round) and was given CellCept instead. I responded well on CellCept, went into remission, got pregnant and during pregnancy, the proteinuria, blood all started leaking from my kidneys - prayed a lot during pregnancy and with the The Power of Prayers ...
.... talah .... I now have Sophia who loves to pull my hair!!!
That's me, with my moonface features.
Thanks to the 30mg of Prednisolone I take, on top of CellCept on a daily basis.
Prednisolone is a type of steroid that suppresses the immune system.
It has many side-effects if taken long term.
I've been on it since 2004!!! YIKESSS!!!!
Side Effects? Me? So far, weak bones, easily bruised and mild cataract!
Sometimes, on high dose - elevated BP and MOONFACE plus a camel hump and sometimes, weird craving for food, like now, I've been eating chocolate non-stop. NOT GOOD!
I must tame my appetite!!
P:S: Thank you to all my wonderful bloggie friends who still visits despite the lack of 'action' from me!! Love you all a lot!!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Happy Birthday Smelly Butt Butt!!

Time sure flies.
Smelly Butt Butt Sophia turns ONE yesterday!
We had a small birthday party on Sunday - a very last-minute-sort-of-do.
Sophia gets her drumstick & red egg, which is symbolic of good food, throughout her life.
I wish her good health, happiness, love, wealth and everything good in her life.