Sunday, August 20, 2006


Today, I would like to dedicate my utmost respect, gratitude to the creator, scientist, founder, chemistry-man and their wives / husband for the efforts to produce …..


Yeah, man, I was in pain yesterday! It is very difficult for others to understand the pain that I go through because of SLE. Mind you, there are others SLE patients who had it worse….especially with organ complications.

Anyway, back to my story, I went to see fire-flies at a place call ‘Hoi-Lod’, about two hours drive from where I stay, went with three very nice Thai colleagues (one is ex-colleagues, she left the company a week ago!) .. it was last minute plan, she called at about 4pm asked if I would like to join their outing (and silly me thinking it was a dinner plan…) …. I agreed instantly! In another word, I was not prepared for a long night out, was not prepared to sit in the car for 2 hours, was not prepared to walk so much, and was not prepared to be on a boat (with very hard, no cushion seat) for more than an hour!!

I was already stiff while on the way to ‘Hoi-Lod’, had to pretend to be cool and ok! I was starting to feel pain and swelling!! Imagine, it was only the beginning of a torturing trip! Reaching ‘Hoi Lod’, we went on an ‘eating spree’ at the floating, night market….and I have to sit on a very small plastic stool while savouring my “keow teow noodle” soup….man, you will not believe how cheap it was … THB10 !!! It was a small serving but for the price it was still all worth it!

Picture of the night, eating-haven, floating market at “Hoi-Lod” ….

By 7.00pm, I was already screaming inside….. I wanted to go home to rest! No one could hear me nor my pain! I need salvation ….. aaahhhh…… I hope my pain will go away, I was praying…and yet, I put on a strong appearance, like cat-woman with arthritis …

I was feeling ….

I don’t want to see world to see me, (yes! I want to go home and sleep!)
Cos I don’t think they would understand, (yes, no one understand how can a healthy looking 29 year-old has joint pain?)
That everything was made to be broken, (yes! Joints!! Joints!! Muscles!!)
I just want you to know who I am… (An unfortunate person with SLE…)

Minus the agony of waiting for the boat, we finally boarded a very cramped boat at about 8.40pm ….. and the boat went round and round, my pain was reaching the ‘unbearable’ level, my joints, my muscles were screaming, by the 40th minute, I was hoping the boat will sink (no worries, I had my life-jacket, everyone has their life-jackets!) … Yes, the fire-flies were lovely, glitters like stars, oh so low, like decorated Xmas trees….to be honest, I was in so much pain that I was lacking in appreciation for mother nature’s work of art….Ma, I am sorry but pain is making me nuts, mad! It was a kaleidoscope of beauty, and pain…

I was even chanting “Om Mani Padme Hum”, seeking blessing from Chenrezig, Goddess of Mercy to help me with the pain! Yes, I can feel a little relief, but it was just little, I needed physical help from God of Ponstan, God of Prednisolone, God of Plaquenil, God of Mobic, God of Cataflam …. Ahhhhhhh…..

By 10pm or so, we were back at the car, the return journey of 2 hours began … Reached Supalai apt at about 12 mid-nite, alive and in pain. At this point, my heart wanted to be at home (in KL) badly, madly, in the arms of my “ngao-ngao” (Chinese word for an ‘OX’ who happens to be my husband!)!

My Ngao-Ngao in Bangkok named CARL … (free gift from Boots!)

The very first thing I did was, I took 1x Ponstan, 1x Plaquenil, 1x Prednisolone and fall flat on the bed, without even brushing my teeth (it is ok, no one to kiss in the morning at Bangkok!)

I woke up this morning feeling great!! And I went to work with Boss C!! Yeah, we are on talking / friendly terms again! He gave me a lift home yesterday, and today. We even had long breakfast / lunch a.k.a brunch today at CafĂ© de la Tu …

Oh ya, he lent me his handphone (he offered!), which he does not use anymore….for my Malaysian sim card, so to say…

Today …. I am happy …….

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