Friday, August 27, 2010

Glutton I am Not ..

I've been feeling nauseated for more than a week now. 
Did not vomit though, just nauseated.
Have not been eating well too ... ooohh .. now that's a big news knowing I can be quite a glutton.

I've been on "preserved fruits" (assam) for the past one week.
My office drawer is full of this sort of crap (I know it is not very kind to the kidney),
But, it is these sort of crap that kept me going at work.

I am not well, my energy is really low ..
I feel like I am breaking, again ..


Guess what?
financial audit, tax
And some nasty stuff going through with the project.
my boss is ain't here yet..
 and i am suppose to guard the fort till he is here?
struggling, alone ..

worst thing?

walking pass the ladies along the corridor, smiling, saying "GREAT" when I feel like I am about to break.
telling someone "I am not well"
and that someone tells me in return "I am not well too and there goes a long conversation on how 'someone' feels and blames the weather for it.."
I stopped telling PEOPLE how I 'exactly' feel.
No one will ever understand.
It will always be me and my lupus.
I look so well ... how can I be sick.

Yeah ... right.


Kea said...


I wish I had words of comfort, could type something that would help. But of course there aren't any.

Just know I'm sending you healing Light and will light a candle for you at

Blessings and Peace.

Brian said...

If I could I would send you a whole big basket of feel better!

Hannah and Lucy said...

We hope you feel better with a break for the weekend Bin.
Take care - luv and whiskery kisses Hannah and Lucy xx xx and mum Sue who doesn't have whiskery kisses!!

Katnip Lounge said...

I wish there was something solid I could do to help...I hope that it helps you to tell us. Because you are NOT alone. We are here. I am here. Just post or email and We're here to listen and care.

Hang in there, please!

{{hugs}} and kitty kisses,

MomKat Trish

Old Kitty said...

Oh Bin!! I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so unwell!! Please don't think you are alone - you are not! It's so annoying how people think that being ill means looking and sounding ill when that isn't always the case! You are a strong person inside and you live with your illness as a matter of fact. Just ignore other people and concentrate on yourself, your health and getting yourself better and well enough.

Take care and hang on in there!
All the very best

Jacqueline said...

Very sorry you are feeling so bad, I wish there was something I could do for you...Hope you have a restful weekend...Try to hang in there, Bin; sending positive energy and healing light to you, love and hugs...J, Calle, Halle, Sukki

ABBY said...

Dear Bin
Wish I could offer you something to make you feel better, but alas like everyone I know there is not. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that things improve.



Marg said...

Oh Bin, we are all so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well. We are sending you lots of large hugs and tons of purrs. Wish there was something we could do to make you feel better. It just isn't any fun being sick and like everyone else said on here, you are not alone and we are here to support you. Take care and try to get some rest. Give that Lucky a hug for us

Boonie S said...

I wish you well.

All the best, Boonie

Lucy the Cat said...

I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. Hang in there with work. Yes, it's so hard when people think "not well" just means feeling a little tired or because the weather changed. You have some really supportive friends in the blogging world and I hope you feel support there.


GreatGranny said...

I know nothing about Lupus, but I'm so sorry you are burdened with it.I hope and pray there will be a cure for you.

nasi ayam said...


Please take care of ur health.. meows at home need you.

Take care yea

Nico, Simon and JayJay said...

I am sending you many (((hugs))), Bin - & the boys are sending their rumbliest purrs for you to feel better.

It stinks that you have too keep all of your feelings inside along with your pain & smile on the outside because that's all anyone wants to see...

Any time you want to rant about how lousy your darn lupus makes you feel - we'll be here to support you & send you more (((hugs)))

We hope you will be feeling better very, very soon!!

Take care,
~Cory (with Nico, Simon & JayJay)

Amy and The House of Cats said...

Bin I am so sorry you feel so awful - sending over lots of hugs from me and lots of purrs from all the kitties!

It is terrible that in addition to all that physical stuff you have all that external stuff going on too - it couldn't wait til you feel better of course, isn't that how it always happens - everything hits at one time.

I hope you start to feel better soon, or at least the outside stuff calms down a bit for you!

Blackie007 said...

get well soon, Lupie... *sending positive thoughts and vibes to you*

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

I am probably not going to explain this well at all, but maybe it can help you 'be calm'

Staying calm...I had my first relaxation therapy visit with my therapist and wow, I am kinda pretty excited about the though of being able to calm myself whenever I need it...kind of like a pain pump in the hospital...

She had me do this thing with my tongue and well, it works for me. You probably already know of this, but when we are tense and stressed, our tongues push on the roof of our mouth and against our upper teeth.

She had me 'rest' my tongue on my lower teeth (to me feeling a little like a lily pad floating on water)...and I relaxed.

I could get 'addicted' to this and always have a 'zen-like' stare on my face...

lupie said...

Thanks everyone for being here.
Reading your comments make me feel so "real" and "happy".

It means a lot to me.

These comments and thoughts keep me going. It keeps me sane. I've cried less, seriously.

I am doing (or trying) the tongue exercise now, as recommended by Teri ... resting my tongue on lower teeth with mouth wide open? correct picture?