The Very Original Purpose of my Blog ..

I started this blog on a Thursday night, 10-August-2006 because I was so pissed with my ex-boss. It was a "bitching" blog, which I kept very low profile, quietly ..... Supposedly a secret, dark little black blog ...

http://sillylupie.blogspot.com/2006/08/today-i-decide-to-blog-and-bitch-about.html

This blog was born in Bangkok, Thailand - not Malaysia.

I was one very angry, upset and ill person. I was seconded to Bangkok on a short-term basis and ended up being there for cumulatively 18 months. I had to visa run every 3 months! Go for foot massage whenever "immigration personnel" turns up in the office! How cool is that?

Of course, getting myself hospitalised twice was the highlight of my "lupus" - I've never had a "real flare" before ... until, Bangkok.

Stress did get to me.

I could still remember what a fool I was telling my "knight-in-the-shinning-armour" - Dr. Porawat, "Give me other meds, this is not working, I am still having fever, I need to close the accounts tomorrow.!"

Dr. Porawat looked at me and said, "You have to stop thinking about work - you need to be admitted, your WBC is down to 0.7"

I looked at him blankly - at that point of time, I was having very high fever with chills and my vision was blurry! Alone, in a foreign land without insurances at a very expensive hospital! YIKES!

That night, I was transferred to the ICU as they couldn't get my blood pressure up. (and now, I have high BP! where was the pressure when I need it!!!!!)

Funny, but I've never been hospitalised before until .... Bangkok. It was a "virgin hospitalisation" - hahahaha!
I never knew what to expect. Didn't know if I could wear underwear with the hospital gown, well, I am glad I did!

It was a nightmare when I paid the hospital bill - I had to pay using several credit cards!!!!! Did get the company to reimburse me though, but gosh, it was embarrasing!

Oh well, I am glad that this blog is longer that "angry" and hopefully gets happier with time ...... :)

Have a wonderful, fun and good weekend everyone!!!!!

I am officially pissed .....

I landed myself in Bumrungrad Hospital again since Sunday, and now it is Wednesday. First they think it is infection, now they think is flare .... what's next! I feel so wasted here ... maybe I am a milking cow. Who knows....

And no one (ok, three did), not even Boss-T visited me. Fuck off, not that I want to see him. He called and asked, when can we see you in the office. Almost told him off by saying "since when sick ppl start visiting the offices instead?" ... and now I pray that the Insurances card work like miracle upon discharge. Still having nightware swiping my credit cards the first time around ..
Maybe they will get me a nice flowers if I die or maybe, they will save on that as well for expat 'dogs' demob fees' .... dogs are important, accounts clerks can die....

Going up soon to eat .... and eat ....

All I go is eat ... and sleep ....

Life .... I need life ....

A Decision Made ...

Dear Blog-blog,

I told Boss-A about my final decision. And to see her care and understanding moved me to tears.

A total difference to Boss-T, who I worked my arse off so many years ago... only to be labelled 'incapable', totally side-lined from accounts at one point of time, kicking me like a ball from one assignment to another and at the end of the day, I am just, in his mind a 'clerk', someone overpaid, at first I brushed it all away but it really did eat up my confidence.

If I am a lazy employee, it wouldn't matter much to me. But I have been dedicated, worked hard, tried to prove myself, tried to help everyone, only, at the end of the day ... to realise that I was not that 'appreciated' by my boss after all......

Forgotten my morning pills ...

I felt horrible the whole day ... and didn't know why ... initially...

I went back to the apt early, at 3 something, only to realise that I have not taken my morning pills... how can I forget ....

My mouth fungal hurts like mad ... and it is very difficult to eat.

I have spoken to Boss-A about returning to KL Office. She sounds concerned, and asked me to reconsider. I say I will let her know tomorrow. My answer will be the same though.

Splitting my prednisolone to three times a day ...

Dear Blog, blog .....

I woke up with fever of 38.8'C today.

My mouth ulcers + fungal hurts like mad. The lozanges that Dr. gave yesterday is providing very little relief. I am going for oral ones ..... ahhhhhh Bought twenty tablets, hoping it works!!

Today, the thought of 'resignation' appears before me .... super-prednisolone power ....

Oh, ya, my dosage is now - 4 predni, 1 plaquenil, 1 imuran in the morning ... and then 3 pred at lunch time, and dinner time, 4 predni, 1 plaquenil ..... b4 bedtime, anti-fungal ..... yippeee ......

Too much office politics stressed me ... and huh, to see Malaysians doing it makes me puke! Whatever will be will be ... go figure....

Fever again ... 39.2'C

Ahhhh - fever is back now 39.2'C - taken my pills diet, now waiting for it to work ....

Ahhhhhhhh............ help..................

Confided to Boss-C on how I felt about Boss-T, to me, Boss-T only thinks for himself. He now says he prefers that I go back to KL and be with my family ... huh? Remember what he said when he re-joined? 'You have to decide to stay in TH or not, if you go back to MY, you are likely to be retrenched, and his promise about training me, what he did for me... Bull?
Did he think lovingly think about 'family' at that point, anyway it is my personal life, non-of his business...
He thinks only for himself?

Boss-T is just pissed that he no longer cannot control me? Hahaha...

FUCK IT ... I am one pissed-off lady with fever ... every indecent word I say shall be forgiven!
FUCK IT, FUK IT, FUCK IT ... ahhhh what a lady I am ...
Very presumptuous of me! Incase if you are wondering what 'PRESUMPTUOUS' means - going beyond limit of courtesy of appropriateness.

Oh......meds pls work ............................. I don't want to end up in the hospital!

London Bridge is falling down.... falling down ....

Ahhhhhh - damn lupus

My WBC is down to 2.5 from a healthy 6.9 two weeks ago ....
My platelet is down ... never been 'abnormal'...
Make things worse, I having fever now - last measured 39.1C
Dr. introduced imuran.... ahhh....

Ahhhhhh.... damn...

I am taking my steroid, neurofen, paracetamol, plaquenil and going to sleep now...

Military Coup - Bangkok

Huh ...

Life is getting very interesting for me!

Military Coup in Bangkok!!! Aaaaahhhhhh .... exciting!

Anyway, woke up today, ready for work, then a fellow colleague called...

colleague y - Heard about the military coup? Its all over CNN.
me - I don't have UBC. what military coup?
colleague y - Military taken over the government?
me - Bangkok ar?
colleague y -Yup, office closed for today.. goverment declared public holiday
me - No need to go to work ar? sure or not?
colleague y - Yes...
me - U sure you not going to work? Me too then.

Immediately I went to 7-11 stock up on instant noodles, fish balls, milk, potato chips....reload my mobile prepaid, bought internet top-up ....

Then, I called Boss-C ... he sounded so happy with the day off, arse-hol ...
Anyway, will be having breakfast with him at 9am...




And, and the military has also taken over the TV stations ... now showing 'RAMBO' (just kidding) ...

Currently TV is broadcasting 'king stuff' ...... including a music video on "King Bhumiphol" ....

Earlier they had this guy announcing the 'military coup' .... at least that's what I think it was...

SLE FLARE ... again ?

SLE FLARE ... again ?

Been feeling lousy for the past two weeks or so ... went to see Dr. Porawat today, seems like my WBC (White Blood Cell) count has decreased .... from 4.7 (10 days ago) to 3.4 (today) .... the blood works does not say anything too serious but trend is similar to the last flare I had in January ... which landed me, in ICU for two days. Gosh, looking back, I really think I was dying?

It is very difficult for others to understand the agony of living with lupus. I may appear fine now, but couple of hours later I may feel sick, malaise, pain ... and it is so unpredictable. It makes me think twice before going out, for fear I may not have the energy of making it back home, or ... if I would have enough energy for work tomorrow. I tend to think, it is bad karma ....

Dr. Porawat upped my prednisolone to 10 tablets (50mg) a day, I took 5 tablets five hours ago, and yes, I do feel a little better. See if I still have fever tonight.

It sux to be sick ....

FEVER AGAIN.....

I had fever yesterday ... temperature 38.4 .....

I feel weak today but went to work, just to update the bank balances and e-mail it off to corporate.... BOSS C came in at about 10.00am? I left the office at 11.45am .... I just needed to go back to the apt and rest ...

I feel sick, tired, weak ... and pissed ...

Good thing today, I had my favourite 'agar-agar' treat from the evening market nearby ... I'll post a photo for memory sake ... soon...

Dear Blog-blog,

Did not go to work today. Woke up with achy joints, pain, just felt lousy, sick and ok ok a little lazy!

Went to Bumrungrad Hospital to meet my cute rheumatologist (yes! he is cute) and got my eyes checked as well. Blood works shows I am low on lymphocyte, borderline anemic, low C3, C4 ... all....ahhhhahhh I will live after all!!

Paid THB 5K++ for medical tis time...... yeah 'semi-expat' like me is not entitled to full medical coverage.... but, seriously, i think Bumrungrad Hospital is top with service ! (Do you know that they give free distilled cupped water, green tea to visitors!?!) AND, they have got 7 rheumatologist in-house! Ohhh lalala, I, of course selected the cutest doctor ... Dr. Porawat!

Oh ya, while waiting for my blood works results, I went to pray at Erawan! I want to be rich, healthy and happy!! I want money, lots and lots of money!

OK... I need to bath and sleep now...